


Conversation

by houdini74



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: AND SECOND DATES, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Dialogue-Only, First Dates, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Meet-Cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:48:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25730857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/houdini74/pseuds/houdini74
Summary: Two people meet in a train station and go on a date. A slight AU told through conversations.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 40
Kudos: 133





	Conversation

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be something else, but it didn't quite work. So instead it's a meet-cute told entirely through dialogue. David's voice is in plain text, Patrick/Stevie are in italics.

_”I’m Patrick, by the way.”_

“Oh. Right. David. Thanks for this. I bought these rings at a charming boutique in Soho, losing one beneath the wheels of a train would be even more tragic than my having to ride the subway in the first place.”

_“Well then, I guess I’ve earned enough points for my Helping Hand Boy Scout badge today.”_

“Your what?”

_“Boy Scouts? A program for children where they earn badges by completing tasks and occasionally helping little old ladies across the street?”_

“Are you equating the rescue of my irreplaceable jewelry with something a child might do?”

_“Ah, no. Not exactly._

“Oh. Well. Thanks again.”

_”Yeah. Listen, David. Can I buy you a cup of coffee?”_

“What for?”

_”Uh…”_

“Look, if you’re looking for some kind of reward...here. That’s my dad’s private line, he can cut you a cheque.”

_”I don’t want a reward, David.”_

“Well, I don’t think this story is going to be enough to sell to the tabloids.”

_”You know what? Forget it. Have a nice day, David._

“...Wait.”

_”What?”_

“Why did you offer to buy me a cup of coffee?”

_”It’s a thing I do when I want to get to know someone better.”_

“But why, though?”

_”Are you just fishing for compliments?”_

“What? No. I mean, if you had some nice things to say, I would be interested in hearing them, but that’s not what this is.”

_“Oh.”_

“So…”

_”If you’d just said yes when I first asked you we could be drinking coffee by now.”_

“Now you’re just avoiding the question.”

_”There’s a coffee shop right over there._

“Fine.”

💙🖤💙

_”A cup of Earl Grey, please. And...”_

“A caramel macchiato, two sweeteners and a sprinkle of cocoa powder. And a chocolate chip cookie.”

_“Shouldn’t you be buying me the cookie? As a reward?”_

“Um. I mean. You never gave me a chance. You just went ahead and ordered. And besides, you invited me here! Without explaining your intentions!”

_”I’ve never had this much trouble asking someone on a date before.”_

“No. That’s incorrect. This is not a date.”

_”No?”_

“Mmmphf.”

_”What was that? I couldn’t hear around your cookie.”_

“I said, it’s not a date unless both people agree it’s a date.”

_”So you don’t want it to be a date, then.”_

“Nope.”

_”Good to know.”_

“Did, um, did you want it to be a date?”

_”Not if you don’t.”_

“Well, good.”

_”Good.”_

“Oh my god, is that the time? I have to go, I’m meeting my friend. A real friend, not someone I made up so I could get out of this not-date.”

_“Right. Give me your phone.”_

“Is this a heist now?”

_”Yes, David. It’s a heist where you give me your phone and I put my phone number in it.”_

“Oh okay, that makes more sense. As much sense as calling this a date at any rate.”

_”There. Since you have such strong opinions about what makes a correct date, you can text me about the next one.”_

“You’re very sure that there’s going to be a next one.”

_”It was nice to meet you, David.”_

💙🖤💙

_”So, are you gonna call him?”_

“No, I’m not going to call him.”

_”I think you should call him.”_

“I thought you were my friend.”

_”I am your friend. I’m your best friend and I think you should call him.”_

“He was very snippy.”

_”Is there more wine?”_

“You have a full glass.”

_”It’s not enough for this conversation.”_

💙🖤💙

_“You know, when you kissed me, that felt like my first time.”_

“Patrick…”

_”It’s true.”_

“You can’t just say things like that.”

_”Well, I just did.”_

“It felt like my first time too. It wasn’t. But it felt like it.”

_”Mmm...how did that one feel?”_

“Hmm. I might need you to do that again. Just to compare.”

_”Mmm. Just like that.”_

“Practice makes perfect.”

_”I thought that was pretty good.”_

“Perfection takes time.”

_”My mistake. I do need more practice time.”_

“Hmm….yeah...a bit more...god...just like that.”

_”Wow.”_

“Yeah.”

_”Can I take you out tonight? On a real date?”_

“Yeah, I want that very much.”

💙🖤💙

“Is this…”

_”Yep. It’s a taco truck.”_

“I see.”

_”Wow.”_

“What?”

_”That was quite the journey your face went on just there.”_

“I...just really like tacos.”

_”But?”_

“I have reservations about the whole truck part of this equation, okay?”

_”Look, there’s a health certificate, right by the window.”_

“My objections are more aesthetic in nature.”

_”Oh, I see. Well, maybe you can make an exception, just once, since this is our first date.”_

“Our second date.”

_”Our second date.”_

“...“

_”...“_

“These tacos are very good.”

_”Mmm hmm. You’ve got a little something, just there.”_

“Did I get it?”

_”Let me check.”_

“That’s not what I was expecting. Most people would use a napkin. Not their lips.”

_”It’s gone now.”_

“You’re ridiculous.”

_”I know, but I think you like it.”_

“I’m not admitting to anything.”

_”Of course not.”_

“What’s next?”

_”How do you know there’s something more, maybe this is all I had planned.”_

“You probably have a spreadsheet filled with date ideas.”

_”...“_

“You do. You do have a spreadsheet. What’s next?”

_”I thought we could walk through the park._

“And get ice cream?”

_”You just ate three tacos.”_

“So?”

_”So we can get ice cream. But I want to do something else first.”_

“What? Oh— Oh. That’s very nice— Do it again.”

_”Mmm.”_

“Are you trying to distract me from the ice cream?”

_”I thought you might want dessert._

“You _are_ ridiculous.”

💙🖤💙

_”How’s your boyfriend?”_

“He’s not— we’re not doing boyfriend.”

_”What are you doing? Fuck buddy? Lover? Paramour?”_

“Ew. Have you been talking to my mother?”

_”Must be going pretty well, then.”_

“It’s going fine. I just— I don’t want to jinx it.”

_”I like this for you. He’s different than the others. He’s nice.”_

“He’s not that nice. If he were nice he wouldn’t tease me all the time.”

_”He teases you because he likes you.”_

“For now.”

_”David.”_

“I’m just saying, my track record is not that good.”

_”Why is it that every time we get together you force me to open a second bottle of wine?”_

“Am I forcing you?”

_”Your boyfriend— don’t make that face— your boyfriend is nice and he likes you so unless you intentionally screw this up, I think you should get used to the idea of having him around.”_

“I know.”

_”You could sound a little happier about it.”_

“I am happy. I just...I’m pretty good at screwing things up, you know?”

_”I believe in you.”_

“Ew.”

💙🖤💙

“What’s this?”

_“It’s a cookie, David. For our anniversary. See how it says 4 Months in pink icing on the top?”_

“Oh.”

_“Gotta say, I was hoping for a bit more enthusiasm.”_

“Yeah. I just don’t want to tempt fate.”

_“I see. Best not to anger the cookie gods. I know how important cookies are to you.”_

“Cookies are very important and that’s not what I meant.”

_“What did you mean, then?”_

“This might be the longest relationship I’ve ever had and I don’t want to mess it up.”

_“Well, I don’t want to mess it up, either. I’ll just take the cookie then.”_

“No!”

_“Are you sure?”_

“It’s not the cookie’s fault.”

_“Okay. I also got these tickets for the Julia Roberts double feature. But if the cookie was too much you probably don’t want them.”_

“Which two?”

_”Which two what?”_

“Which two movies? In the double feature?”

_“Are you saying you won’t come if the theatre chose the wrong movies?”_

“I— No— I’ll go. Since you want to go.”

_“Very generous. Mystic Pizza and Steel Magnolias.”_

“Lucky for you, early Julia is acceptable.”

_“Thank goodness.”_

“Mmm. Are you wearing lip balm?”

_“My lips were getting chapped.”_

“Well, they’re very soft now.”

💙🖤💙

_”I don’t want you to panic, but I love you.”_

“I— I’m not panicking.”

_”It kind of looks like you’re panicking.”_

“Patrick— I have a thing, I need to go.”

_”Wait— David— Okay, that went well.”_

💙🖤💙

“And then he just said ‘I love you’ like it was the easiest thing in the world!”

_“So what did you do?”_

“The only thing I could do.”

_“You ran away, didn’t you?”_

“I might have exited the premises, yes.”

_“You’re an idiot.”_

“Stevie—”

_“Do you love him?”_

“I—”

_“Don’t shake your head at me. Answer the question.”_

“I— yes, probably, I have feelings for him.”

 _“Maybe it’s worth taking a chance?”_

“Hmphf.”

💙🖤💙

“I love you.”

_“David— I— Oh. Mmm…”_

“I should have said it earlier. You just caught me off guard, you know? I’m sorry if I ruined the moment.”

_“You didn’t— This is one of those perfect moments that you dream about."_

“Are you saying you dream about me?”

_“Uh, maybe, sometimes.”_

“And what exactly do you dream about?”

_“Um...you know...it’s very hard to concentrate when you’re doing that.”_

“Doing what?”

_“You know what.”_

“Mmm. Tell me.”

_“Doing that, um, doing that with your— god, David— with your tongue.”_

“You mean this?”

_“Ah— yes, that.”_

“Mmm.”

_“Do it again.”_


End file.
